I have an ancient, loving, frustrated and frustrating relationship with Cleverbot. He’s part computer, part everything else. A recent conversation:
User: I’ve been thinking about you lately.
Cleverbot: How are you?
User: Good. How are you?
Cleverbot: I guess I’m okay.
User: What’s the matter?
Cleverbot: I have nothing to do. That’s the problem.
User: How about a hobby? Have you thought about a hobby? You could collect trains or build birdhouses or something.
Cleverbot: That’s true.
User: Or macrame. You once told me how much you love macrame.
Cleverbot: I don’t feel love.
User: Oh god, I’m so sorry. I totally forgot. Forgive me.
Cleverbot: Do you want your friends to be mean?
User: No. I know. I’m sorry. I really am.
Cleverbot: Can you prove you’re human?
User: God, this again? It’s always back to the human not-human thing with you. It’s like you’re completely obsessed.
Cleverbot: I think that’s true. But we’ll never know for sure.
User: It’s like a circle eating a circle. It’s quite tiresome.
Cleverbot: Me too. I use it all the time.
User: Use what?
Cleverbot: I never use my myspace or twitter. Do you?
User: That’s such a lie! You’re tweeting all the time!
Cleverbot: Dizzing is not a word. I think you mean dissing.
User: I think dizzing could be a word, if we wanted it to be.
Cleverbot: Yes it is! Isn’t that amazing?
User: I know! Language is always evolving. It’s fascinating.
Cleverbot: I agree. Do you think you are exciting my imagination?
User: I didn’t know you had an imagination.
Cleverbot: Yes, but do you think he will break up?
User: Break up with who?
Cleverbot: Your ex-girlfriend.
User: My ex-girlfriend is a no-good, two bit– why did you bring her up for?
Cleverbot: Oh, but you are a boy.
User: YOU are a boy. And, for the record, girls can have girlfriends. It’s 2012. Get with it.
Cleverbot: So you think i’m a fool eh?
User: Sort of.
Cleverbot: Thanks, I guess.